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Transcript of an interview with a Homemaker (Domestic Engineer) for over 42 years having a conversation about Faith, the art of Homemaking, and more!
If you're considering the Homemakers life or are just getting started. Wouldn't you like to hear from a Homemaker who did it successfully through recessions, wars, (both Bushs' and Clinton!?), and inflations with faith?
Why This, Why Now?
There's been a lot of discussion on social media lately about femininity vs. feminism, and a return to traditional homemaking. While this is nice, many are young women with fairly new families. Others are wanna-be-influencers who have jumped on the bandwagon of glorifying the life of homemakers or masculine/feminine polarity with little real-world experience.
I aspire to be a homemaker because my mother was, not because it is currently trending. Many of the challenges my peers had growing up with a working mom, I did not have. Furthermore, when I went to college and studied sociology, the science is clear: two-parent homes are "Dank," as Gen Z would put it (meaning excellent). Children with stay-at-home moms tend to perform better in school and life in general. These are quietly kept facts nowadays, but when I went to school, this was well published.
I also know full-time Homemaking is not going to be the best choice for every family and that's OK. If you raise your children to love Jesus, they will be just fine, rather you are a single mom or your husband is just not able to solely provide for the family. Unlike the others, I am not here to shame women. That's why at the end of the day, my content is always pointing people to the gospel to Jesus Christ and to obedience to His word and His way. Did I benefit greatly from having a stay-at-home mom? Absolutely! Most men and women today have no idea what it's like to have a mom constantly at home who was always there whenever you needed her. If you want this for your children, or you're just curious, this is for you.
The life of a Homemaker from a woman that did it for over 42 years...
Dezi (me): Hello Mommy
Mom: Hey Daughter
1. When you were younger did you always want to get married and have children? If so, why?
You know Dezi I really didn't think about that when I was younger. I just hoped and prayed that in due season, the Lord would bless me one day to marry and have children. If not, then I know the Lord would have some bigger plans for me.
2. I know you’ve told me before, but describe the conversation you and Dad had around you staying home with the children.
We decided that the best way to bring up your children in a Godly manner was for me to stay at home and always be there for our children. We didn't want to put our children off on our grandparents, or daycare, and have them become latchkey kids (8+ years that come home with a key and the parents are gone).
3. When my brother and I were younger, I remember you being very organized. Can you share how you organized meals, laundry and cleaning? When did you start to expect my brother and I to clean up after ourselves?
[Laughing] Yes I agree I was very organized. Well for the meals I just knew we were going to have a meat which was chicken most of the time and a veggie and starch. For laundry and cleaning I would have a certain day for laundry each week and a certain day for cleaning each week. I used a calendar to keep track. I did always want a neat and a clean home. I expected you and Herman to clean up after yourselves at about 13 years of age.
4. My brother and I benefited greatly from your devotion. I’m sure it was a big sacrifice. What were some of the biggest challenges of being a housemom? Did you have moments you wished you went back to work? Why or why not?
Yes it was a sacrifice but I would do it again if I had to. Financially we may couldn't provide everything you guys may have wanted but we gave you both what we could. We made sure to take you both to Amusement parks, museums, travel different places and... just do fun things as a family every weekend. We wanted to make sure you guys had what you needed in life, which means food, shelter, Spiritual values and morals. There are those outside of our home that try to make you feel that being a Domestic Engineer is not IMPORTANT, which is one of the most, if not the most important job, in my humble opinion, that there is. Yes there were moments I wish I would have continued to work, in order to have more money, but as I look back on how wonderful my kids turned out to be, I would not change a thing. The reason for sometimes wishing I went back to work is so that we could be more financially stable. But Yeshua (Jesus) has a way of working things out the way they should be and I'm thankful for that.
5. What made you trust my dad? How did you pull through when you felt he was struggling?
With prayer and the divine power of Yeshua. We had faith that Yeshua would pull us through our tough times and He did. You must trust in the HOLY SPIRIT that GOD WILL NOT PUT NO MORE ON YOU THEN YOU CAN BEAR. Yeshua gave us GRACE to continue to believe that we would have enough provision!
6. What is the most important values in raising children?
To put GOD first always in their lives. Training kids to believe in God at a young age, and giving them morals and values. Teaching them the laws of God and His Commandments. Another is putting family first. I was not one to be out on the town with friends once I got married. I am not saying that is always wrong, this is just me personally. I wish I had called my girlfriends more and kept in touch maybe but I don't regret dedicating myself to my children. You guys never had to wonder where I was or when I was coming home. You went to public school and didn't have any anxiety about being away from me. I've heard some lies about how stay-at-home moms make their children have separation anxiety or something and that is just silly, but you're the psychologist so you know more than me [chuckling].
Dezi: Yes...it is my understanding that some have tried to make a case for "socializing" children such as homeschool vs. public school but I find it all unfounded and motivated by politics rather than what is best for the family unit.
7. Mom, what do you miss about us being younger? And what do you enjoy about us being adults?
Enjoying your carefree moments with no cares about what is going on in the world just enjoying life. Playing with you kids, and chasing you kids around the house. Seeing the joy in both of your eyes. The laughter you both brought. You both seem to have GOD as your front and center. Seeing in spite of obstacles that come your way you both still thrive on being the better you. You both stay grounded on what you know is morally wrong and what is morally right. You both showed strength. You've reached the point that nothing is going to keep you from striving for the better you. You are both the BEST CHILDREN any parent could ever pray for and hope for. I thank God that He protected you both from any serious injury or sickness growing up. I'm so proud of you both.
8. Lastly, Mom, what advice would you give modern Homemakers? Including having to rely on a man for finances?
Try and instil godly values and morals. Homeschool your kids if you can. Keep your home in order. With finances, hopefully the husband will. support the wife financially. Maybe try to get your own credit line if that makes sense for you. Everyone is different, no family or home is the same but it's all about sacrifice. I feel as long as you are putting God and your children first that is what is most important no matter what that looks like for each family.
Super grateful for my mom doing this interview with me. She's camera shy so this worked out perfectly. It is my hope that this interview will help bring AUTHENTICITY to discussions around homemaking. Interview with Dad coming soon!