If you're around me and haven't figure it out yet. I have been breaking the cycle of "serving the Lord."
I'm not his servant, I am His Daughter and a vital member of the body of His Bride.
How did this happen? Well, for one I was mediocre at this whole Christian thing anyway, second, well, I stopped wanting to. Which for a while meant wondering around lost, but then I learned I'm not His servant anyway, I'm His daughter.
I mean I had to start out living like servant so if you're still there, no sweat just draw near to God...and find a place you can thrive in sonship like I did.
Right now, I have what Apostle Damon Thompson calls, "one holy passion." He's my Daddy Abba and I'm His babygirl. Now, to be honest, I don't like His tough love sometimes (Hebrews 12:11), but I know that it takes great love for Him to do things that might put Him and I at odds for a moment, haha! However, we are in covenant so its going have to be okay.
You see, I don't have to run around doing "things." I'm a Mary and thank God right now I'm in what I call, a Mary season, because I'm not a Martha!
I don't need another conference, event, or "good church." I need intimacy with Yeshua. I need truth and Spirit. I need His rest, His peace.
I'm not trying to be a pastor, apostle, prophetess, teacher, or evangelist. All of that is super important and biblical. My point is, is not my aim. Its not going to fulfill me. I'm not letting anyone pressure me into ministry, serving, coming and going here and there and doing this and that. ANYTHING I do, has to be birthed from intimacy with my Yeshua. Selah.
Its so awesome to just be. I'm not trying to be an awesome prayer warrior, intercessor, I don't need to be seen as being a part of any ministry and yet everyday - find myself in His presence doing all those things naturally.
I'm not a performer, I am a lover. And I don't need your approval about it. I can spot performers. Do you feel unbalanced? Fake? Insecure? Anxious? Are you in conflict with your household? Feel pressure to meet certain goals or look a certain way? Then you're performing and you need to stop. So many people, even those claiming to be free from "religion" are still striving, still performing. This is probably going to shock many ministers but...people don't need you as much as you think they do, they need intimacy with Yeshua.
All of the "things" we often do in the Body of Christ are nice but if done out of need/lack instead of fullness we are not walking as Jesus walked. He was walking in complete union and Love with the Father. He was the Bread of Life, the Living Water, He is overflow itself.
Take time to seek the better things. When I go to the beach...I'm in His presence so heavy! No event need apply. I don't need to hear someone preach. I am hearing straight from Abba! He is taking me on my own personal journey and I'm cool with that (most of the time). I had to realize that even the believers I was with may not experience Him the same way I do and that's okay, the point is, those of us who are hungry are going to keep seeking and seeking; and He is a rewarder of them that seek Him persistently. t65Until we fully understand God and until our mental framework of His personality is correct, we need to be seeking the Secret Place. Until we view Him appropriately, should we engage in all that "doing" anyway? If you can't love God with wholeness, you can't love yourself, and if you can't do that, you can never love others with wholeness.
So I ain't got time for all this "serving" Yeshua, I'm just dancing with Him 😂. Because this serving stuff is more about you and other's expectations than it is about Him. I'm going leave it at that for now.
If I could start off by saying anything, I think we as believers in Christ need to learn the art of letting each other be where we are in our walk with God. None are necessarily better than the other. Wherever Father leads us, that's where we need to be.
Which is why I am finding it necessary to shed some light on a trend I've been noticing lately in some circles of Christendom. Where it's cool to laugh over prayer and "hip" to smile about everything. Mr. Jesus took care of everything, so not a care in the world and if you don't feel like they do, you need deliverance. I'm going to call this Christian Nirvana.
Okay, I feel you, let's all just get happy! There really are no reasons to worry about anything. After all, Yeshua Himself said "be anxious for nothing." Paul wrote "cast all your care upon Him for He cares for you." The Psalms are filled with commands to rejoice in the Lord. David even commands his soul "hope in God." Faith is confidence in God, and without faith it's impossible to please Him.
I mean - after we get our ticket to Heavenland because we said a prayer or got dipped in water and now we can spend our lives bouncing around and laughing all day with our two cars, suburban house, 2 kids we planned for...and oh a puppy! I mean if our son got beat half to death for being Christian we could call it a hate crime and get justice. Justice! Yea! So all we have to do is keep singing and dancing around, smiling, with our bellies full, until we die. And then, guess what?? We get to have even more fun in Heavenland! Forever! Yeahhhhhhhh!!! That's just narley-cool-da bomb-fi.
Let me get real with you. Yes, no matter the circumstance we are taught by the scriptures and Holy Spirit to keep our hope, our joy, our kindness, our gentleness, our faith and our patience through it all. However, I think we present these fruits of the Spirit wrong. We act as if that means we constantly walk in kindness, gentleness, joy, faith, love, etc. We put pressure on ourselves to "be" some kind of stress-free persona. I realized though, we're talking about fruit, and when you eat fruit, it gets processed through your digestive system, the nutrients are then absorbed into your bloodstream and cells. The benefits of that fruit you ate (i.e. Vitamin C) then has it affect on the body...the Body...get it? Do you think you just eat an orange once and boom! You're set for life? No. This will make more sense later, but my point is, the fruit of the Spirit are always there when we need them but the effect they provide is not always in operation. We have to choose. We have to continuous consume the fruit.
I was at a meeting where we were discussing the security and joy of the Lord, no matter what's going on in our lives. Trust me, I get. And I need it. I went up to get prayed over. I know I need the joy of the Lord, because I have been waiting for my flood of happiness, love, romance, companionship, and intimacy. I've been waiting in righteousness too. I'm a rare jewel. I know Yeshua has me, I know He's got great plans for me, but I still hurt. I still feel the sting of loneliness. Yes, I know not to go by what I see but what He says...I know. I still wish I had a hand to hold, someone to dream and do life with...like a decade ago.
I also have a dear friend who is suffering from bone cancer. She is in chronic pain, and recently broke her leg. Now they are saying she may be losing sight in one of her eyes and the cancer has spread to her brain. She has been fighting and praying for almost 2 years now. Do you look at my friend and say "just be happy?" Do you tell her Jesus took all your sorrows so you have nothing to sorrow over?
Of course you wouldn't. I believe God allows people in our lives that make us uncomfortable. People that love God just like you do but ________(fill in the blank).
When I left bible study God told me this: Desiree, you already have fullness of joy within you whenever you need it. You just don't know you already have it and have used it plenty of times. But it's okay to be sad too. It's okay to hurt.
As I continued to ponder on this, I believe Holy Spirit filled me with this wisdom: Father needs those who are willing to hurt, to be sad, even mad. He needs those who will travail. Who will look at a situation like my friend's, and get horrified, get uncomfortable, and travail and weep for her like it was your own mom, sister, or wife.
See, some of you reading this have everything a man or woman could possible hope for in this life. We get the education, the jobs, the spouse, have the kids, the dog, the house, the 'stuff." Maybe you start the business or ministry to get us to our ideal state. Of course we want for nothing; we make sure we don't. But for those of us who have things that hasn't quite worked out yet...oh that is where the hidden treasure is, the blessing in disguise. That's where those who are uncomfortable in this life get to tap into something amazing...the Holy of Holies.
Yes, it's possible to be victorious and yet feel the sting of what is being lost if we don't seek God's face.
There is a time to have joy, but also to have sorrow.
There is a time to laugh, but also a time to cry and cry hard.
There is a time to just see the good in everything, but there is also a time to open your eyes to the pain and suffering right beside you...and care.
There is a time to be content but then there is a time to get fed up.
There is a time to rest but then there is a time to fight. Not by our own might or power, but by His Spirit.
It's easy for me to have joy in my perfect little life...but there are people like my friend who every night sheds tears over her pain and I'm not okay with that. I am powerless to help her but I know Who can. I know Abba Father has more compassion on her than me. I also know there is purpose in her pain. The purpose is not just for her, its for all of us. It's not personal, it's communal. I don't pretend to know why certain things happen, but I know the Spirit has told me this, it's more about those around that person, than the person themselves. It's to stir us up...to PRAY! To intercede for something other than our own personal needs, as valid as they are.
There are some who are at a place where they just want happiness, peace, and everything is just dandy and I rejoice with those who are in the place! Please know, this is not to get anyone rattled. Its for you to understand that where you are is where you are, thank God, but also remember your brothers and sisters that are not quite there. Maybe they need a shift of perspective or maybe they need you to fast and pray over there concerns like you would your own.
I can choose to have carefree joy and I do! I love my Yeshua! I'm learning more and more to turn to that fruit and devour it, even when I'm feeling the sting of my reality. That Fruit will do its thing every time. However, I also can choose to have sorrow. Sorrow for single believers who are terribly lonely and fight fears and sorrows others cannot imagine. Should I make them feel guilty for not "casting their cares"? Or...
Romans 12:15 - Rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Let me put it in modern terminology. Be happy for the new mother or new bride, but hurt and cry like you mean it for those who are infertile or lonely. Don't stop travailing for their blessing, just like you would not for your own.
Yes, let's celebrate the Lord's goodness, pleasures, His salvation and sacrifice for us. Rejoice in His Royal Authority in Heaven and in Earth. Dance and sing before the Lord. But let's also allow ourselves to get angry at the sin running rampant in our cities, and children growing up on the streets. Better yet, let's get discontent. Yes, discontent with the failure of our current expression of Kingdom Culture. So I say let's get happy and let's get sad. Not sad as in hopeless. No, sad that we walk in less power than we should. Sad that good men and women have to wait and wait for the love they dream of. Sad that good people suffer. Sad that our brothers and sisters in other countries are enduring brutalities for their faith, while we endure long plane rides to our next "revival-presence-fire" concert.
So you see, I get it now. It's okay to be content and dissatisfied all at the same time. Those emotions are meant to be there, to drive us to the Secret Place. I think it's a trick of the enemy sometimes to use the idea of contentment in order to stagnant us in a place that is meant to be a bridge, not a resting place for us. Until we get this, we will be happy for a few days or a few weeks but then when feelings of sorrow creep up we will feel guilt and fear instead of embracing it for what it is...a call to the Secret Place.
Solomon said it best - Ecclesiastes 3:4 - A time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Psalm 34:17 - The righteous cry, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Got troubles? Then let's cry together!
GOD DID NOT WANT YOU TO SPEND YOUR LIFE FIGHTING WITH YOUR FLESH.
Jesus came, died and resurrected so that you wouldn't have to fight that battle anymore; as did those in the Old Covenant. In the Renewed Covenant (aka "new testament," God promised to write His Word on our hearts.
The gift of the Holy Spirit is more than about speaking in tongues. It is about transformation and renewal of your mind. It is meant to set you free from the negative cycle of battling your faults to earn God's love. Let me repeat, it is to set you free from the negative cycle of battling your faults to earn God's love.
Yeshua/Jesus, has betrothed Himself to us and His gift to His bride while she awaits for His return, is The Holy Spirit.
Many people don't know why they go to church. You go to church to gain greater permission to seek God outside of church. It's like that friend you met at church or a social gathering. At first they were a stranger, then an associate you said "hey" to every Sunday. At some point you sought permission to talk to them outside of church (got their number, met for lunch, etc.) Once you connected with one another outside of church you became more than just church associates connected by geographical location, you became friends. Think about it, once that happened, your relationship deepened more than with other people you see at church. You begin to share parts of yourself with that person, they know you better than others, and a relationship is formed that is mutually beneficial. This process is a blessing in the natural and very much in the spiritual.
Apostle Donnie Clark recently taught on this concept: if you are not spending time with Jesus outside of church, the two of you are not friends. Friendship is about connection and give/take. If you only take and not give back then you are a burden, not a friend. So are you just asking God for things with no intention of meeting His desires as well? Your relationship with God needs to be mutually beneficial. You might say "God has no needs"; well He does and He doesn't! He does because God has chosen to desire you, yes you. He desires you to know Him and spend time with Him. He offers you Himself. He doesn't really have needs but God knows others who are friends of His who may have needs that you can help with. Ever have a friend who was able to help you with something because that friend had a friend who was skilled in your area of need? Isn't that wonderful?! This works in tandem with Him being your Father because in the natural as you mature, your relationship with your parents change. There is a shift in dependency and being "friends" deepens your relationship that although they are no longer responsible for you, they will love helping you because you have a mutually beneficial relationship built on love and respect. You in return, don't hesitate to meet the needs of your parents, after all, they poured into you for many years when you were a helpless child.
This is the Good News, the Gospel
When we build a relationship with Him as you would a friend, meeting with Yeshua over coffee or taking Him along on a jog are "Secret Place" encounters. Consistently seeking the presence of God causes us to be transformed and renewed. We are transformed and renewed by the written and Rhema word of God.
God did not want us spending our days and nights fighting and overcoming temptations of our flesh. We will at times and we are empowered when we do so, but we were not meant to live a life where all we look forward to is subduing our flesh. No! Jesus said fear not, I have overcome the world. I'm tired of churches that build a doctrine on this idea that you need to not go here, there or do this or that because you will "fall into temptation." In other words, yea your "saved" but Jesus still left you weak and pathetic so here are some crunches and a wheelchair, you won't be able to walk on your own otherwise.
The people of the old testament demonstrated that we as humans are capable of making some really hard and awesome decisions for the glory of God but they also demonstrated that we are capable of great evil and prone to eventually give in to fleshly lust. The laws of God are meant to be guard rails and guides for us, however, because of Jesus we are free from the "burden" of the law. We all feel the burden when we try but we can't, we just can't do it right. Any of you reading this who werein church (as in no longer) but had been caught up in sin know what I mean. You were made to feel like if you didn't "straighten out" you were going to hell when you die or worse, God doesn't really like you. That is the burden of the law. See, that's why people rapidly drop away from holiness or hell ministries. They feel "well, I guess I just don't love Jesus and never can." Or they start to question the very existence of God to avoid the idea they are waiting to die and go to hell. I mean that can't be fun so I would rather think there is no God too.
Jesus' blood testifies for us and justifies us (See Romans 8:29-31 and Galatians 3:5-14). If we are needing justification that means God knows we will do wrong, but we are not judged by it if we confess it and ask God to help us. Repentance is the changing of the mind and usually that doesn't happen overnight BUT miracles happen all the time where the presence of God is allowed to operate fully - I'll save that for another post!
Do you see why "get your life together or go to hell" messages does nothing to heal the hurting?
Jesus knew how to help the hurting, people who appeared to everyone else to be just flithy sinners. God does not see your sin as the problem, He sees your mindset as the problem. When you keep giving in to sin its because you see the sin as doing something for you. Once that mindset is eliminated you won't even see the sin the same. That is powerful and life-changing. So while you (and the Holy Rollers) are upset with yourself because you desire unholy things, God just wants you to surrender it to Him and diligently seek Him. He wants you to recognize that He has a better way for you. This doesn't just apply to sin, we may be at a place where what we do is lawful but is it beneficial?Don't get me wrong...this is not easy. I struggled with this until I heard the Spirit say "You are not your desires." Many of us confuse our desires as being a reflection of our core being. That is because it feels good when we fulfill our desires. However, that is actually a lie, you are not your desires, friend. That revelation freed me. Yes, I may want to go to a nightclub and dance all over some hottie, and that would bring me a measure of joy but that is not a reflection of who I am, and therefore doing so or not doing so, is not going to bring me into a place of complete authentic peace and joy. Even if said hottie marries me and I get to dance with him in the sanctity of marriage every night, I have placed my joy in the hands of this relationship with this man. That means at any moment my world can be turned upside down if he doesn't consistently participate in my desires. See how we set ourselves up here? Yes, I would love to eat whatever I want everyday, but that measure of fulfillment is not worth the consequences and a few hours will past and I will forget the joy it brought me.
We get into this mindset I think from a young age. We desire something and feel good when we receive it and therefore associate getting our desires with fulfillment. So we surround the idea of happiness with the attainment of "things." Whether that thing is a car or a lover or status or whatever.
Thankfully, Jesus wants our joy to be full. So He teaches us that fulfillment is not in getting stuff but fulfillment is found within Him. See, once you stop searching for people and things to fulfill you and instead seek Him, He transforms your mindset. That's the beginning of finding your peace at the core of self because you have chosen to make your home in Him. So you are centered in Him, and He, in the center of you, and that is a place of calm and fulfillment. You were made by Him, and He knows exactly how to bring you joy but He wants you to find your greatest peace and freedom within yourself- while He is there. I call it your Centeredness.
Hope that makes some sense or at least intrigues you enough to start seeking Him for your peace and freedom. As I seek what I call "centeredness", I'll keep you updated on my journey. To Love and peace!
Every human being wants peace, comfort, happiness, joy, satisfaction, affirmation, rest, excitement, and fulfillment. How we go about achieving these things vary as much as there are people on the earth. I want to share a revelation that I hope will lead people to the Source of all those things, so you can keep yourself grounded.
True freedom and peace must be found in the quiet of your core: what I call Centeredness. Centeredness means you find all you need within the Presence of God around you and within you. There are many humanistic explanations of this but because I believe in the Master of the Universe and not some spooky personless "universe," my perspective is a bit different. While mindfulness and "the secret" followers have good points to make, it's all incomplete without the Heavenly Father, the source of all life and light. Jesus already had this figured out over 2000 years ago, these humanist-universe people are late.
How It All Started
A few weeks ago when I went to an office Christmas Party for the sole purpose of shaking a tail-feather, afterwards, I begin analyzing myself, why did I do this or that, etc. This might seem weird but bear with me. \
Let's read I John 1:5-10 from The Message Bible:
5 This, in essence, is the message we heard from Christ and are passing on to you: God is light, pure light; there’s not a trace of darkness in him.
6-7 If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we’re obviously lying through our teeth—we’re not living what we claim. But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God’s Son, purges all our sin.
8-10 If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we’ve never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God.
Where I would normally feel uncertainty and maybe even guilt, I begin to see opportunity to look within myself. It was then the Holy Spirit shared this truth: You are not defined by your desires. In other words, don't define who you are or what is good for you, based on your urges or impulses. First of all, we are products of our culture, we do well to take some time away from familiar faces and places to really ask our Creator to define us. Just you and Him. Its not about whether our wants are good or bad, its the perspective that the obtaining of those things are going to bring us into peace, comfort, freedom, etc. After all, some of my thoughts or desires have made me say..."dang...am I even saved?"
Has that ever happened to you? Probably so. The more people I talk to, the more I realize we all have things: tempers, bad habits, thoughts, or other weaknesses we wish we didn't. Then, there are those gray areas that we wrestle with like, what to do on a Friday night, alcohol, secular music, etc.. As Christians we are taught to feel guilty about temptations, not just because they are "wrong," but because "Christians don't act like that." What a strange concept!! How DO Christians act then? Are they human? Did some Christians come up from their baptism with zero fleshly urges, while others still had theirs? Were some baptized in Olive oil or maybe Kool-aid? God only knows what's in that stuff. Anyway, just trying to figure out this "holier than thou" crap, aka hypocrisy.
Instead of focusing on how we are "supposed" to act, based on some type of subjective idealism, I decided there has to be a better way.
Psalms 16:11 (KJV)
Listen, God is not angry with you because you are flesh. In fact, God is not frustrated with your carnality. Yes, it is the enemy of His purposes because He desires us to come into wholeness (what I am calling Centeredness) and we cannot come into wholeness as long as our every desire controls us. However the answer is not some Pharisee type legalism. Let's read again: "If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing." Surrender to God was never equal to the denial of our flesh. Surrender to God is the pursuit of God and yes there are some issues He will deal with along the way. However, that is not the main focus of our fellowship with the Father. He is the potter, we are the clay. We just need to stay in His hands.
Let's get real, we are who we are based on an unknown combination of nature and nurture. So, for example my expression of my sensuality on the dance floor is just ME...not some alter ego I have to hide. I am able to approach God and others as my full authentic self, when I take ownership of ME. My surrender to God is saying you have better use for this sensuality and I can find it's purpose in You. That doesn't mean I am losing anything by getting my groove on, but I am also not gaining anything either and that is key to breakthrough. That's where you stop relying on outward things and begin to seek Him and ask Him to rule your inward.
For example, anger is often a mask to cover feelings of sorrow, helplessness, frustration, etc. Only with our connection to the Father, the Source, can we find our path to letting go of anger and be empowered to overcome what we are seeing as helplessness and the cause of our frustrations. In Heaven there are no pointless pursuits, anger is a valid emotion but we have to filter it through God, because God is Love, only He can use that energy of anger and turn it into something useful and beautiful.
Peace is powerful, because, when used correctly, it can provide us with the ease and comfort we crave regardless of our surroundings. Peace leads to freedom but for the purpose of this journey I am separating the two because I am defining freedom as the ability to have satisfaction and fulfillment which is usually the aim of "fun" anyways.
I encourage you to sit down with your Creator and discuss yourself with Him. I think you'll enjoy it and you'd be surprised at the affirmation that you get from Yehovah Himself. You definitely need to be free from religion though before you try to have these conversations with the Almighty. Your misconceptions about The Most High can hinder your ability to "have an ear to ear." God cannot give you revelation you are not ready for. So please read Let Your Religion Die, So Your Faith Can Live if you haven't already.
Desiree Cummings is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Dancer, Fitness Enthusiasts, Foodie and Vlogger.